Monday, July 6, 2015

Dealing with Loss

Ellie Steele, RHN
ACEP Certified EFT Practitioner

Today I attended a memorial for a relative and an amazing person that genuinely loved life.  His name was Joe.

Joe was my dad’s younger cousin and they had very similar personality traits. Easy to laugh, great hugs, big smiles.

It’s been over a decade since my own father passed away so I felt like I was in some position to offer words of comfort to Joe’s daughters, but the time wasn’t right.

If I could sit with them over tea this is what I would say.

The anger at the sun for shining and the world for carrying on like nothing has happened, when you feel like it should come to a screeching halt to observe your loss, goes away after a week or two.

The pain of waking up every morning and realizing it WASN’T all a bad dream and your dad IS gone, takes about three weeks.

The grey, muted responses to everything pleasant around you, like your best friends’ new baby or a beautiful sunset goes away after a month or two.

The visions of your last moments with him and the intense waves of emotion that can make your eyes well up without warning go away after six to twelve months.

Grieving takes time, and while there are things you can do to ease your immediate pain like EFT, eventually what you’re left with is a relatively small wound; a little empty spot in your heart and your life.

Thankfully, you’ll also have the memories of him that will enrich your life forever, and somehow the loss makes them sweeter and more meaningful. 

Finally, I would say just hold on and know that what you’re feeling right now is temporary and the colour of life will gradually seep back in and fill your emptiness.

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